The Adventures of Captain Christmas Eve Stinky Smith - - -
It was a rainy summer day at the Smithpoint Inn and the puppies were restless, they wanted to play outside.
“Mama”?
“Yes Cookie”.
“Mama, we want to go outside in the yard”.
“I know Cookie but it’s raining”.
Eve was looking off into the distance at the storm front rolling in from the West. She knew this rain would be awhile.
Eve called all her puppies to the screen porch.
“Cello, Dexter, Riley, Jersey, Cookie, Bonnie, Clyde, Otto, Jake, Henry, Comet”. “Sweeties come close. I am going to tell you a story”.
“A story Mama“?
“Yes Riley a story”.
“What kind of story mama”?
“A pirate story Dexter, so come closer”. The puppies snuggled close to their Mama, and they were all ears…
“ Long Ago and far away lived an infamous pirate, named Christmas Eve Stinkeye Smith”.
“Mama”?
“Yes Dexter”.
“Mama what does infamous mean”?
“Well my love it means famous for being naughty”.
“Oooooh” the puppies said all together they knew all about naughty! Suddenly all eyes were on their Mama and the puppies were listening ever so closely.
Captain Stinkeye sailed the oceans with her Crew looking for treasure and places to bury it. She stirred fear in the hearts of all she met. Captain Stinkeye was infamous for her deadly stinkeye stare. At anytime at all she could remove the eypatch that covered her right eye and glare the strongest stinkeye that ever was. Her stare was so intense that she could freeze a pirate in his boots, forever.
Now Captain Stinkeye had been at sea with her crew for months. Her pirate ship the “Dewclaw” was heavy with treasure but light on supplies. The crew was running low on food and drink and the Captain could see that a storm was brewing to the West. She thought now was the perfect time to find a place to hide her treasure and gather the supplies they desperately needed.
“Riley, fetch me the map”.
“Aye Aye Captain”, and with a wisk of her coat, Riley, Captain Stinkeye’s trusted first mate ran below to the Captain’s quarters and returned topside with the map and the Captain’s spyglass.
“Oh the spyglass, thank you Riley, I forgot, you are quite an excellent first mate”. “You always think of everything”!
Captain Stinkeye studied the map. She paced back and forth on the deck as she read it. “Hmmmm”.”Ahhaaah”. “Hmmmm”. “Ah HA”! “Yes, that’s it”! “Riley set our course due East”. “Today we sail for Lucky Island”.
With that the captain went below to her quarters to prepare. Riley shook her head, she did not think that this was a good idea but she did not want to alarm the crew. She was unsure, she did not know what to do.
Then Riley shouted in her deepest voice, “ALL HANDS ON DECK”! “Prepare to sail”! “Rig the riggings, hoist the sails turn this ship, Eastward. Today we sail to Lucky Island”.
Riley heard that Lucky Island wasn’t so lucky. She even heard some say that you’d be lucky to leave the island alive. She shuddered at that thought. The crew snapped into action and they worked together like a machine. They steered the ship to the East.
Captain Stinkeye who was below stowing away the map heard a solid knock on the door…thump thump thump….
“Enter”, the Captain’s old door creaked open and before the captain stood Riley.
“Riley, something troubles you”? Riley was surprised that the Captain knew she was nervous. “Speak freely my old friend, what’s on your mind”?
“Lucky Island Mam’”
“Lucky Island? Is that was worries you”?
“Yes Mam’, yes Mam’ it is”. “Captain I’ve heard that the island is haunted, haunted by the ghost of Trader Jack”.
“Hogwash Riley” grumbled Captain Stinkeye.
“Captain I’ve heard that once you go there you’re lucky if you can leave alive”!
“Ridiculous Riley”! Smirked Captain Stinkeye.
“Riley we have sailed together for 10 long years”.
“Yes Captain”.
“10 years and I have never seen you so nervous”.
“Yes Captain”!
“Riley we need an island where we can safely hide the treasure and pick up some supplies. Lucky Island is an old volcano island that is only a half day’s sail from here. The island has been uninhabited since the volcano exploded”.
“Aye Captain”. “It’s uninhabited by living people, but what about the ghost of Trader Jack”?
“Fairy tales Riley, stories to scare people away”.
“I knew Trader Jack, he was on old pirate who retired to that island and traded pieces of his treasure with visiting sailors for the supplies he needed. Trading allowed him to remain on the island living the easy life. Trader Jack left Lucky Island well before the volcano exploded”
Suddenly they were interrupted by a loud shout of “LAND HO” which echoed throughout the whole ship.
“Riley there is nothing to worry about, now go topside and assemble the crew and drop anchor. We are going ashore”.
With that Riley shut the captain’s door, and climbed topside to the deck. Riley had heard that Trader Jack was killed in the volcano explosion and haunted the island and all who visited it protecting his treasure from looters.
Captain Stinkeye smiled to herself and thought Lucky Island has a reputation for being haunted. That makes it the perfect place to hide my treasure. She smirked and climbed the ladder to the deck.
The captain paced up and down the line of crew members, “Dogs you are the best crew a captain could ask for”!
“Here Here long live Captain Stinkeye”!
Now that’s not something you expect to hear on a pirate ship. Pirates are scoundrels and liars and thieves. This crew is no exception but, while pirates are known for being naughty and Captain Stinkeye certainly was, she was different in how she treated her crew.
Her crew had been with her since she stole the Dewclaw and sailed for adventure many years ago. The same crew no more no less. Captain Stinkeye treated her crew like family. She had a contract with them. If they signed the contract to sail with her and keep her treasure safe, she would share the treasure with them. Most pirate crews were loyal to the captain out of fear, but not the crew of the Dewclaw.
Throughout the years the captain had rescued each and every one of them from their terrible owners and gave them their freedom. Because of that each and every one of them signed the captain’s contract and sailed the oceans with her. They were a loyal pack of pirates.
“Crew, I am putting the Dewclaw and her treasure in your paws while I take a small party ashore to Lucky Island”. “I need three volunteers to come with me”.
Before the captain could even finish these words the entire crew stepped forward to volunteer. With a smile Captain Stinkeye called three names. “Henry, Cookie, Jersey ready the launch we’re going ashore”.
The captain turned to Riley.
“Riley the Dewclaw is in your capable care until I return, be on the lookout, pirates know this ship is heavy with treasure. Keep the crew safe, we will be back at dawn”.
“Aye Aye Captain” and Riley saluted Captain Stinkeye.
Henry helped the Captain into the Launch and Jersey and Cookie slowly hoisted the ropes lowering it gently down to the water. Without a word Henry took up the oars and rowed them towards the beaches of Lucky Island.
As they got closer to the island the captain noticed that there was a coral reef that formed a ring around the island, an atoll. The coral was sharp. It could easily rip a hole in a ship’s hull. This coral protected the island from pirate ships anchoring too close. The captain smiled and thought -yes, nothing but a small launch could land on the island this is a good island to bury my treasure!
Within minutes the launch landed on the beach. Henry, Cookie and Jersey dragged it over the sand into some bushes hiding it from view.
“Cookie, Jersey” the captain said. “You are smallest and the quickest”. “Take this list and search the island for the supplies we need. Meet us back here at dawn. If there is any trouble blow this horn and we will find you”.
The captain handed Cookie a beautiful shell horn that she could hang from around her neck. Cookie and Jersey disappeared into the jungle and were out of view within seconds.
“Henry you are the biggest and the strongest”. “You will come with me”. “we are looking for a place to hide our treasure”.
Henry and the captain headed off towards the old volcano looking for a secret hiding place where the treasure would remain safe.
They hadn’t gotten far when Henry said “Captain do you see that”? “What Henry, see what”? “That sparkle through the trees….there do you see that”? “It’s moving”.
The captain took out her spyglass and looked through the trees and to her surprise she saw a shining orange glittery light. It was moving back and forth.
“Captain what is it”? The captain was thinking about her conversation with Riley and the Ghost of Trader Jack…no it couldn’t be.
“I don’t know Henry but let’s follow it and see”. They followed the orange glittery light closer and closer to the volcano and then they heard a rustling in the bushes….
”Who goes there”? Captain Stinkeye said. “Oh captain it’s you”…suddenly Cookie and Jersey came out of the bushes. “Captain we saw this glittery orange light it kept moving this way so we followed it”. Henry nodded his head, “so did we”.
All together the four pirates followed the shiny light a bit further up the volcano base until there was a clearing below. “It’s a village Captain”! Jersey was right it was a village with three beautiful English Setters wearing shiny orange jewels in their hair and around their necks.
The island had people? How could this be, so much for the island being haunted. Haunted schmaunted thought the captain, how could she hide the treasure here now? The captain looked at her small away party. “I will need a volunteer to go with me to the village”. Before the captain even finished her sentence all three dogs stepped forward. “Well then I think we should all go together”!
The captain and her team hiked down the volcano base and slowly crept silently towards the village. Then “Achoo”! The ladies were startled, “Achoo”! The ladies turned around and looked right at the foursome. Captain Stinkeye, Cookie and Henry turned to their right and looked annoyingly at Jersey. Their cover was blown.
“Achoo”! Jersey sneezed again and the ladies screamed in fear. They could not believe that there were pirates on their island!
Then Captain Stinkeye spoke, “Ladies stop”! “What is this village, where are you from”? The ladies did stop. They were so surprised to see that this pirate was a woman like them. They had never seen a girl pirate before. “Who are you they said”?
“Her name is Captain Christmas Eve Stinkeye Smith” said a deep thundering voice from behind them. The captain and her crew spun around to see an old pirate casually standing there.
“Trader Jack I presume”? She asked because he had aged some since the last time they met.
“How are you Stinkeye”? The two old friends embraced.
“Jack I thought you left the island before the volcano blew”?
“I did, I did leave, but my treasure is here, I had to come back”. “The volcano left molten lava over the door to the cave where my treasure is and I moved back in so that I could unearth it. I couldn’t leave without my treasure”!
“Of course” said Captain Stinkeye. “Who are these ladies, where did this village come from”?
“Oh Stinkeye, these are my daughters Fiona, Adeline & Lily”. “They came to keep me company because I knew it would be awhile to dig through all that cooled lava rock”. “It’s just me now, my wife Sable died years ago and since I retired pirating my daughters have become my non pirate crew”.
“Hello ladies”. The captain removed her hat and bowed.
“We noticed you though the jungle trees, we noticed the sparkle of your lovely orange Diamonds”! “Diamonds that’s what they are…orange diamonds”? “That’s right Stinkeye”. “The volcano created orange diamonds when it blew. I find them as I dig through the lava rock to open the cave”.
“They’re amazing” said Cookie. “They’re beautiful” said Jersey. “They’re orange”! said Captain Stinkeye. With that Fiona and her sisters removed the collars that they were wearing decorated with the rare orange diamonds and presented them to the Captain, Cookie and Jersey. “Wow this is the nicest collar I have ever seen” said Cookie.” “Ooh it’s so sparkly in the sunlight” said Jersey “Ahh it’s orange” said Captain Stinkeye!
“Jack where is your ship”?
“Well it was anchored right outside the coral reef that surrounds the island and during a big storm the anchor line snapped and the ship hit the coral, ripped the hull and sank”. “So here we stayed and built this village”.
“So you’re stuck”?
“Yup stuck” said Jack with a wink of his eye.
“Worse than being stuck though, is that that since the volcano no one ever comes to visit the island so we can leave”. “There is some story about the island being haunted”.
“Yes Jack I’ve heard the story”. “Apparently the island is haunted by you”!
“Oh, well then that’s why no one visits and I have no one to trade with. That is why we are stuck”.
Captain Stinkeye chuckled to herself…
”so let me see if I have this straight? You have no ship, but you have a crew. You have treasure with no one to trade it with because the island is haunted by the ghost of you, but you’re alive…oh that’s rich Jack”.
“It is quite a problem Stinkeye”.
As they talked Trader Jack’s daughters prepared a delicious meal for their guests.
Cookie, Jersey and Henry feasted with delight while the Captains continued to discuss the situation.
Suddenly everyone turned their heads towards the volcano…BAHOO BAHOO.
“What is that”? said Cookie.
“Who is that” said Henry.
Trader Jack snapped to attention.
“That is the alarm”!
“The alarm, who’s sounding it?” said Captain Stinkeye
“we are all here”? Trader Jack told Capt Stinkeye to come with him and they left Cookie, Jersey & Henry at the village to defend his daughters.
As the captains ran toward the volcano Jack explained that he had 6 daughters, 3 stayed at the village and 3 stayed at the treasure cave by the volcano. The alarm was sounded by the girls at the cave and that meant only one thing…PIRATES!
Captain Stinkeye ran even faster hearing that word. She was worried about her own crew anchored off the island. When they reached the cave they saw Jack’s daughters tied up to trees…but unharmed. Pirates were in the cave. Jack and Captain Stinkeye freed the girls and told them to run to the village with the others. Captain Stinkeye climbed the tree and took out her spyglass to keep watch on her ship. The Dewclaw was safe. Pirates came from the north side of the island. They did not even know that the Dewclaw was here.
“So Jack, tell me about this cave”. “Is this the only entrance”? “Yes Stinkeye it is”. “The lava had sealed up the cave entirely. This little hole we carved is the only way in or out”.
“Excellent Jack…then we wait”!
Captain Stinkeye thought to herself, well there probably was only a small party of pirates inside, because just like she had to anchor far off the island to avoid the coral reef so would this pirate. “Jack who do you think is inside”? “I don’t know, no one has been to the island since the volcano exploded except…wait I bet you that it’s Captain Jean-Claude Pierre”.
“That smarmy sailor always tried to cheat me when he came to trade”. “He tried to cheat a pirate…can you imagine. I never liked him”.
“Well he probably thought like everyone else that you died on the island when the volcano blew and came to take your treasure”! “We’ll have real a surprise for him”.
Jack and Captain Stinkeye got comfortable and waited for the visitors to exit the cave…Captain Stinkeye removed the eyepatch from her right eye and folded it neatly in her pocket…Trader Jack chuckled because he knew what would happen next. SHUFFLE SHUFFLE they heard the sound of boots climbing near the mouth of the cave and one by one 4 sailors emerged.
Without a word Jack and Captain Stinkeye tapped the tallest on the back and they all turned around with great surprise.
“Hello gentlemen or should I say scoundrels”?
“So Jean-Claude it’s you here to steal my treasure”, said Trader Jack.
Captain Jean- Claude Pierre’s mouth dropped open so far he couldn’t speak, then he gasped “you’re alive”!
“Oh yes”! “Alive and well and those were my daughters that you tied to the trees, so you came to steal my treasure”?
“Dead or alive, pirate laws apply” and without hesitation Captain Stinkeye glared without warning the strongest stinkeye she had ever glared. Staring down all four together they were all frozen in their boots and became statues in the sun.
“Well Jack that’s that”!
“What do you mean”?
“Well here stands Captain Jean -Claude Pierre and crew”. “To the north is his ship. You’re free to go”!
“You can commandeer his ship and crew and leave whenever you like. Those are the rules of Pirates if you take the ship the crew becomes yours too”!
“You’re Right. I’m free”! “You really are famous for rescuing people. Even pirates”! “Captain Stinkeye laughed, Jack let’s just keep that between us…it’s bad for my image”.
Trader Jack blew the shell horn three times BAHOO BAHOO BAHOO. “That’s the all clear signal to the girls”. With that Captain Stinkeye took the eyepatch out of her pocket unfolded it and placed it back over her right eye. The two old friends walked back to the village to check on Jack’s daughters. When they arrived they saw everyone eating and drinking and laughing together.
“Father! Father”!
“Girls this is Captain Stinkeye Smith she is going to be taking over this island”.
“What”?
“Yes, seems we have a new ship and are about to set sail”. “We can leave”! Adeline and her sisters screamed for joy “Finally”! Fiona slowly bowed her head though.
“Fiona what’s the matter”?
“Father I like living here. I like being on the island”. “I like finding the orange diamonds and making things beautiful with them.” Trader Jack didn’t know what to say, he thought all his daughters loved sailing on his ship.
“I do love being at sea Father but I love it here too”.
“Father”?
“Yes Lilly”?
“I want to stay with Fiona”. Trader Jack was amazed.
Suddenly Captain Stinkeye spoke.
“Jack I have a plan. We are old friends. I like this island, you like this island. You need a break away from the island. My crew needs a break from being at sea”. “Your daughters will be safe here with my crew”. “We will stay, and bury my treasure on the other side of the island away from the volcano, away from your treasure”. “When we are done we will stay a bit then set sail. You can come and go as you wish, but you need a new name. People think that the island is haunted, haunted by you. Let’s keep it that way!” “Your treasure is too difficult to move from that cave with the lava rock so leave it. I nor my crew will touch it or the orange diamonds at the volcano.” “The orange diamonds are very valuable and will be perfect for you to trade with. Fiona and Lilly can keep their home here, and they can mine the diamonds and care for the crew and we will keep them safe”. “You can return with any supplies they may need and when you need a break. So what do you say”? Trader Jack said, “I say I need a new name, what can it be”?
Captain Stinkeye thought for a minute and whispered privately to Fiona who then quickly ran to her hut. Captain Stinkeye took her sword and touched Jack on both shoulders and said
“I hereby re-name you Captain Jacque a L’Orange”, Fiona ran back from her hut and placed an orange diamond studded eyepatch on her Father’s eye.”Here now no one will recognize you and you will be famous for your orange diamonds”.
Then Captain Stinkeye looked at Henry.
“Henry you are the bravest of my crew”. “Would you please escort Captain Jacque a L’Orange to his ship and ensure that his new crew respects his authority”?
Henry snapped to attention “Aye Aye Captain”!
“Henry we will rendezvous with you both here at the Island on Christmas Eve for celebrations and you will return to the Dewclaw at that time”.
“Aye Aye Captain”!
And with that Henry and Captain Jacques a L’Orange headed North to take their ship. Captain Stinkeye instructed Cookie and Jersey to return to the Dewclaw with supplies and ask Riley to send the crew and treasure ashore to the island with the launch. The Dewclaw was about to take an adventure of a lifetime- a vacation!
“Mama”?
“Yes Cello”?
“Mama that was a good Story”!
“Yes Cello it was a good story”.
“Eve, time for dinner”!
“Mama”?
“Yes Dexter”?
“Mama why does the lady call you Eve”?
“Because Dexter that’s my name”
“Oooooh” the puppies said all together.
“Mama”?
“Yes, Cookie”?
“Mama are you a pirate”?
“Oh Cookie it’s time for dinner and that’s a story for another day”.
