Sunday, September 11, 2011

Foster Failure and Damn Proud of it!



So we failed. So what, who cares! (said in a Joy Behar voice)I thought I could keep my emotions in check, keep her at arms length. I was going to be the strong one to keep Alex in line, for we all know he is a big sucker for any animal. But actually I started caving quickly and Alex smirked the whole time, knowing full well I couldn't pin this foster failure on him. 
I was counting on some things. Sweet puppy breath and little licks on the ear lobes while a puppy tail flutters away. I knew there would be sweet gazes and adorable antics. I just didn't think I'd fall so hard for them. I expected her to fall asleep on my head and snore a little puppy snore, I didn't think meanwhile I would be in a panic over a potential adopter maybe not enjoying that. "What if they don't believe in letting puppies sleep on their head?" Yes, this is one of the ridiculous inner monologues I had. 
It seems every time Beatrix would enchant me with some form of powerful-puppy-mojo I would get an ache in my heart that her new person or family would not appreciate or notice it. "What if her new DogMommy doesn't understand she loves to watch moths jump out of the grass at twilight?" "What if her new family doesn't allow her to swim in water bowls or hide leaves in a hole she proudly dug?" "What if...gulp...they yell at her for being a setter and doing setter-like things?" 
In this household setter deviance is not only immediately recognized, but celebrated! This is the House that Dugan and Pogue live in after all. Every time Beatrix would pull what Alex and I call a "setter move" we'd marvel and clap. What if her new family did not find Beatrix's ability to steal a flip-flop off your foot and run out the doggy door with it as "charming" and proof positive setter blood flows through her veins?
So you see, there was no choice. I also was not counting on the other dogs not only bonding with her, but loving her. Especially Lily, she is a typical sensitive rescue setter and bares some scars of emotional trauma from earlier in her life. She has been a bit snarky to other dogs the past year, so we were delighted to see her playing and mothering Beatrix. Pogue is delighted with his new pal and so incredibly gentle when he plays with her. Beatrix walks all over him, literally... and he just sighs and wags his tail as she teethes on his ears. Even our old man Dugan watches over her like a hawk, he comes running in a panic when Beatrix lets out a cry, which is often as she is a bit dramatic over things like ear cleaning and nail trimming. Hell, even the cats like her. It's sort of like a sitcom around here...Everybody Loves Beatrix.
Finally, my worst secret fear in letting somebody else adopt her? It's silly and shallow and selfish, but I'll say it. 
"What if her new family changed her name?" 
I mean, c'mon. She IS BEATRIX. It is the most perfect of perfect names for her. She is so a Beatrix it's not even funny. What if, gasp, somebody adopted her and named her Nutmeg or Madison or some stupid dog name like Cuddles? I don't think I could have lived with that.
So you now see this is how we (or I should say I) failed fostering. But somehow it does not feel like failing, it feels like winning. That's the story I'm sticking to. Happy-Puppy-Love- Sigh.  

2 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Shannon and Alex! Both you and Beatrix won! Those inane thoughts, btw, were the same ones I had with Pogue. So you know how special you are...

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  2. I'm really happy for you guys :) Beatrix was always meant to be yours and I am, selfishly, glad I'll be able to see her grow up through your pictures :)

    I really want to foster fail with Josie. If I could I would be right there with you :) These are very special pups.

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