Monday, August 31, 2009

This Week's Friends of Fiona are... Ruby & Timmy

Good things come in small packages and nothing proves that better than these tiny-tastic dogs wearing their Cherry Jubilee and Black Cherry Custom Lucky Fiona Collars. Ruby and Timmy are Schnoodles (schnauzer/poodle mix) and I dare you not to smile simply by saying the word "schnoodle"! Ruby and Timmy are this week's Official Friends of Fiona because they are incredibly sweet and thoughtful. Can you believe these two sent the Head Bitch a ginormous Get Well fruit bouquet last week? Talk about kind and loving! Chocolate covered strawberries are the fast track to the Head Bitch's heart. (and we all know the Head Bitch just might have some pull with who Fiona picks as the weekly winner) We invite the schnoodle's Dogmom to contact us for her pick of two free Custom Collars - any style in the shop! To submit your photo to be a weekly winner simply email:

And now a song I made up about Schnoodles...because I like to say the word.
"If you love dogs as much as you love noodles -
Here's a dog for you, it's called a Schnoodle...It's a Schnoodle. It's a Schnoodle!
First you take a schnauzer, then you add a poodle,
It's a whole lot of dog - it's a whole caboodle.
It's a's a Schnoodle!"

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Things you learn from watching TV all day with Setters Part 1

1. We have 678 channels and nothing worth watching is on at any given time.
2. All episodes of Baby Story are the same. We want a baby, blah,blah,blah. Let's paint the nursery. Oh, now I have to push. Blah,blah, blah, life is now wonderful. Yet, I still watch.
3. All the movies I loved in the 80's are pretty lame-ass now as I re-watch them. In the past week I have viewed classics like "Mannequin" "Back to School" "Weekend at Bernies" and "Footloose" and um, I'm embarrassed I paid money to go to the theater for them. (well, maybe not Footloose - I still knew the whole soundtrack)
4. Some of the makeovers on HGTV are downright ridiculous. Yesterday I watched a perfectly nice sun porch get remodeled in "Mexicanavian" a mixture of Mexican and Scandinavian style. It was as bad as you can imagine - blank white spaces with mosaic glass scattered in them.
5. That Billy Mays guy on the Kaboom and Oxyclean commercials is just as annoying as ever even though you want to feel bad that he is dead.
6. That Pedigree commercial with the homeless dogs makes me tear up every time and I find myself flipping the channel as soon as it comes on. Then I feel guilty about it.
7. Lifetime Made for TV movies are gems in themselves. Who knew Nancy McKeon and Meredith Baxter Birney had so many roles post-sitcom years? A delicious treat yesterday was my gal Tori Spelling starring in "Co-Ed Call Girl" It was delicious in it's absurdity.
8. Dr. Phil is not any easier to watch even when you are half asleep and on pain killers.
9. The following movies are playing at any given time of the day: "Fried Green Tomatoes" "Pretty Woman" "Smokey & the Bandit" and "Jaws"
10. The flat screen HDTV in my bedroom that I fought my husband on is...actually...well, I like it. No, I kind of love it. Please don't tell him.

Monday, August 24, 2009

This Week's Friend of Fiona is...Lillie!

It just goes to show that everybody loves a Lucky Fiona Custom Collar! Pictured here is the Lovely Lillie getting sweet kisses from her dog-brother Gus. Lillie is a rescued English Greyhound and dear Gus is a doxie who obviously has great taste. We think Lillie makes a dandy Official Friend of Fiona in her Fiona's Garden Custom Collar and we can't wait to see what style her Dogmom will pick as her FREE collar for being this week's winner. Send your photos in to be considered for our weekly photo contest to Congrats Lillie and why don't you give Gus a smooch back for being so sweet!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Recouperating with Animals

It has become very apparent to me the past week that the dogs truly do believe that my bed is indeed their bed and I am just an uninvited guest. As I attempt to convalesce post knee surgery the dogs are constantly reminding me that my presence in the bed during daylight hours is not only unnecessary but downright annoying.
There has been lots of snorting, sighing and grumbling as I kindly invite setters to move on over. There is lots of cementing in place as I plead for a furry child to release the covers they have wrapped around them or to move from the pillows I am supposed to be elevating my leg with. There are pitiful stares of disbelief as I remind spoiled dogs this is my bed. My bed.
Of coarse it goes without saying that my bum knee is like a magnet of doggie interest. Dogs want to sniff it, lay across it and nudge it. They act like I have attached a sirloin steak to my kneecap and they can't possibly leave it alone. I keep looking in my post-op instructions from the surgeon and there is plenty of information on how to clean and dress my wounds but nothing on how to repel interested dogs from the surgical site.
The cats have decided that me being bed-bound is really cool as now they are not the only ones who sleep 18 hours a day and they have a captive audience for their antics. A rousing game of bat-the-gauze-roll-across-the-wood floors was my afternoon variety show. My shower chair is not just something to allow me to bathe, but a tiered kitty jungle gym to swat each other upon and under. The strings from my Get Well balloons are the single most exciting thing to ever happen to them.
All grumblings aside, I am so lucky to have all my fur-kids company and their soft heads to pet as I pass the hours. 600 channel options on the television and watching my setters snore is by far the most entertaining thing to do as I heal.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Why Honey-Do Lists are a Must!

So this evening I was making a direction sheet for how to feed the dogs and cats. Oh - are you going on vacation Head Bitch you may ask? A little list for the dog sitter to reference? Um, no.
You see I am having knee surgery this week and henceforth will be off my paws for a bit. The list is for my dear husband. No, not a new husband who just stumbled into our home/zoo. Yes, the same husband that has lived here with the dogs and cats for years now.
My husband is wonderful, let's just put that out there up front. But when it comes to basic feeding the dogs and cats he acts like he has no freakin' clue what he is doing. He will come up with many an excuse when I casually ask him to feed the furry children. "Oh - I uh, would, but I have to go pay the water bill online at this very moment."
On the rare occasion he does feed the crew he inevitably screws it up. He somehow manages to give the wrong dog the wrong food, gives inappropriate amounts of food, forgets their supplements or feeds one dog a whole can of tripe. (for those of you unfamiliar with what a whole can of tripe does to a dog's gastrointestinal system - let's just say you don't want to be downwind of the dog for the next 4-6 hours) The cats he forgets to feed altogether because when I say "feed the animals dinner" I did not specifically say "cats". The fact the cats circle around him doing the "I'm starving" song and dance routine is not enough of a hint they too may need some food.
Now I will admit the dogs all have different food needs and that I being a hyper-sensitive DogMom will sometimes change the diet and supplement routines. But this is by no means reason to not want to fulfill their basic needs of eating! When I tell Alex the dog's coats are looking a little flaky and we need to increase their salmon oil he acts like the world is about to end. "Oh great! You've changed it up again! I'll never remember the routine because you keep changing it...that's why you need to feed them, not me, I'll do it wrong!" he'll whine.
Secretly I think this is all part of his plan to feign stupidity to avoid having to feed them. This is a man who goes to work and takes apart mechanical and electrical systems and troubleshoots them. I remind him to give the dog's fresh water and he sulks "I have to feed them and change out all the water bowls!"
So in an effort to keep my animals from starving to death as I recouperate I've made a detailed list of who eats what and when and posted it in the cupboard where their supplements/medications are kept. I even bought the more expensive salmon oil with the built in pump as I can tell Alex "3 pumps of oil on Dugan's food" You know if I said 2 teaspoons and a half that would involve getting out a spoon and his day would be ruined. I even pre-measured the girl's raw food and put it in little individual containers for ease of feeding! I had a sit down with the cats and told them they need to come up with a new song and dance routine to capture his attention, perhaps something with costumes and neon lights pointing to their dry food bowl. I talked to the gal at the dog food store and she said all my purchases are on record so they can personally assist my husband in purchasing the right brands of food when he goes shopping there. She said most husbands that come in shopping only know the color of the bag of food they are supposed to get, so they help confused DogDads often.
So, we'll hope for the best and that after my knee heals and I'm on my feet again my furred-children will not be dehydrated, malnourished or 20 pounds overweight. Sigh.

This Week's Friend of Fiona is... Sofie!

Fiona loves the kitties...yes it's true. One can often find her nuzzling her feline pals Sully and Brody when she thinks nobody is looking. So you see it was a cinch to pick this week's winner Sofie in her lovely Blueberry Ice custom Lucky Fiona Cat Collar. Did we mention that all our cat collars have a breakaway clasp for safety? Yes, it's true, because keeping sweet kitties safe from snags is just as important as looking fabulous. We invite Sofie's CatMom to contact us with her choice of a free custom collar we'll happily send out for being this week's Photo Contest Winner. To enter your special animal companion in our weekly contest send your pics to

Thursday, August 13, 2009

We love a Rave...

Hi Shannon and Fiona,
My mommy just loves buying me and my sister, Sadie, such great Lucky Fiona collars! Whenever I see her typing away on her laptop and I'm laying right next to her on the couch I always look to see what she is looking at and I paw at her to get her attention and when she stops typing to look at my such handsome, irrestible face I quickly get my paws typing away to get to the Lucky Fiona site so I can see if Miss Shannon and Fiona have been busy making any new collars with patterns I just can't live without. Now I've been practicing doing this when she leaves the living room and leaves her computer on so when I get her attention to look at me and gives me some smooches by the time she looks back at her computer she is looking at the LF collars I absolutely need and if my sister isn't being a pest to me I even let mommy see some girly collars for Sadie. So attached is a photo of me, Max, wearing my Lucky Fiona, 'The Duffy', collar which I just love the collars and I have to say I look pretty darn handsome wearing it; no wonder why all the girly dogs are always running up to me. Here I thought it was me they were admiring, but I realized it was my LF collar they liked so I told them to go to their dogmom and/or dogdad to check out the 'Lucky Fiona' site because they are by far the best collars around!
My sister and I say woof, woof to Fiona, Caelan and Dugan. ^-^
Woof, Woof
Max Danberg"

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Holy Sheet It's Hard to Make A Bed Up with a Cat

I like my animal companions am a creature of habit. Thus I change my sheets on my bed every Tuesday, a ho-hum task that takes on a whole new challenge when one considers I have a Siamese cat named Sully who's lone ambition in life is to foil my efforts at bed-making. I actually found myself tip-toeing to the linen closet today in a vain attempt to elude Sully, but he has some type of secret-fresh-sheet-sixth-sense that sent him running to my bedroom before I could even peel off the old pillowcases.
Making the bed with fresh linens sucks anyway when you do it solo. You have to constantly go around the perimeter of your bed which I find annoying. You get one corner of the fitted sheet on and one pops off. You think the top sheet is lined up until you go to the other side and see it hanging to the floor so you return to the other side and even it up. The whole shebang goes a lot easier when my husband makes the bed up with me and cuts down my around the bed-scurry. Alas, bed-making ranks very low on Alex's fun list. I fear this is true of all men, which is why when they are bachelors they only have one set of sheets that never gets changed. I think women everywhere remember that one boyfriend in their past that actually had no sheets on the bed and we thought it was dangerous and sexy. No, it was just laziness. And gross. And we still slept with them. Ahh, reckless youth.
Anyways, back to Sheet 101 with a Siamese cat. Sully will quickly sprawl out and cement himself to my pillow top with paws outstretched to announce he is in no uncertain terms going anywhere now that bed-making has begun. Picking him up and removing him from the bed to the floor will generate a boomerang reflex in which he will spring back onto the bed before I even turn around from displacing him. (this is where the term "quick as a cat" originates I believe) As if there was not enough pressure to get those four corners of the fitted sheet onto the mattress, now I have the extra stress of keeping a cat from being trapped under the fitted sheet as burrowing has commenced. I swear I feel a moment of triumph when I get the fourth corner on, usually as I have to do it one-handed while holding Sully on my hip to keep him out of the way. Flailing the top sheet out to spread it is Sully's cue to run underneath it and try to pin the floating material down with his paws. Hence leaving a giant cat lump in the middle of my bed as I move onto pillowcases. It is at this point under the top sheet that Sully has become in his own mind completely invisible and elusive. He doesn't move a whisker in the hopes any passer-byers will be fooled into thinking he is not under there. It's at this point I usually try to again remove him as I foolishly fear if I put the heavy duvet on the bed he will be smothered. This begins a game of Sully moving under the sheet to a spot on the bed I cannot reach. So I move to the other side of the bed and reach out a hand and the lump goes to the other side, and so on. The cat under the sheet chase has begun. It's the four-corner fitted sheet conundrum all over again. If I wore a pedometer I think I travel about 25 miles on foot just going around and around my bed. Sometimes I just leap onto the bed to trap the cat-lump. Sometimes I just put the duvet on and see if the weight of it will drive him out. Eventually I feel guilty and peel my freshly made bed apart to "free" my cat who I swear is laughing at me in a smug Siamese way.
Then I make the bed all over again. Or try to at least try to. Sigh.

Monday, August 10, 2009

This Week's Friend of Fiona is... Carter Le Deux!

Fiona does not care that Carter has been named a winner before. Fiona does not care if you call it a doggie-bias because a Rescued English Setter is winning. Fiona will not listen when you accuse her of picking Carter because he is in love with her and send her love poems and sexy photos. Fiona does not care what names you call her or how unfair you think it is how we go about picking weekly photo contest winners.
WE LOVE THIS PICTURE OF CARTER LE DEUX in his Silly Stripe Collar - In a mud puddle.
So that's it - he's a winner. Case closed. Dogmom Danica email us your free collar choice! Heck - we'll even donate a collar gift certificate to a dog charity if she prefers. (you see Danica has a little collar addiction she is seeking professional help for, we don't want to be enablers)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Fiona is a Party Pooper

Special thanks to all the Lucky Fiona Street Team Members who braved the heat and humidity this morning to take part in Fiona's First Annual Pool Party. All the dogs were so sweet and wonderful - I want a big pack of dogs running around all the time! (wait a minute, was that Alex picking up the phone calling a divorce attorney?) All were so well behaved that we only had to use the "Time Out Pen" once! I don't want to name names Trini, but I hope that piece of danish you stole was worth it. At any rate - it's always surprising to see how your dog will act at a social gathering. My husband and I were on the fence with our setter Dugan hanging with our guest dogs based on his sometimes wackadoodle behavior with other dogs and food begging/thievery. When Dugan stole the goodie bag dog biscuits last night out of the pantry and proceeded to eat the entire box on the spare room bed he sealed his fate as for sure being off the invite list. He was exiled to a spare bedroom with a bone from the butcher, the curtains drawn and a radio on during Fiona's gathering. Sometimes you have to show a little tough love, you know? (or no humans get to enjoy the food)

Caelan whom we affectionately call S.R. (short for the very un-p.c. term Socially Retarded) was actually a party butterfly flitting all over and almost playing with the other dogs. Alex claims he saw her chase Trini at one point like a normal dog. This was quite a coup as Caelan was expelled from Crate Escape daycare for non-interaction (not helping her S.R. label we already gave her). We feel we made great strides with her today.

Surprisingly our dear Fiona was quite the party pooper and hid inside the house quite a bit. Not like her at all, but maybe it was just too much for the spotty gal to take in all at once. We left our doggie door open which no other dogs mastered during our party so Fee could come in and out as she pleased. She'd venture out and then soon retreat back to the couch. She was terrified of Jett the 12 week old puppy. Whom I can tell you was the most scary and imposing fixture with his wickedly long eye lashes and wiggly butt, and oh his puppy was intoxicating. Dear Fiona didn't see the magic however and snapped at him in her mean dog voice to which he trotted off still smiling like a goofy pup. I've never seen Fiona so anti-social, we have dogs over all the time! Perhaps she was just doing it all for attention? I seem to recall as a little girl there was always a friend that turned into a total brat/diva at their own party, demanding everybody leave. Is my Fiona that bratty girl?
All brattiness aside we think it was a great success and were so happy to see all the pooches in their Lucky Fiona gear hanging in the backyard. Thanks to all for coming over in lieu of our usual walk due to my bum knee. Hopefully we'll be back on the mean streets of Naperville soon!

Friday, August 7, 2009

A letter from Fiona to Mr. Squirrel

Dear Mr. Squirrel ~

You think you're so smart don't you? Waiting until the other setters go inside the doggie door before you start eating the sunflowers in my yard. What you don't know smarty pants is that I am watching you. Yes, I enter a cloak of invisibility when I hide between my Dogmom's outdoor furniture and the lilly stalks. You don't see me...but I see you. You and your twitchy little tail. You stuffing your fat squirrel cheeks with sunflower seeds. You're such a messy eater throwing those seeds all over the place, this is why Dogmommy has sunflowers coming up in places she didn't want sunflowers. You will pay. I'm going to get you squirrely. Yes I am. I'm not just going to point at you rat-with-a-poofy-tail. No, pointing is too good for your kind. I'm going to break out into a full sprint and chase you. Chase you along the fence until you learn a lesson. But you don't learn do you chewtoy? No, you come back for more. Greedy fat little fluffernutter. I will get you. I'm Fiona and nobody messes with Fee.
~ Unsincerely~

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dog Magnet

It occurred to me this weekend while visiting Milwaukee for the first time that there must be some magnetic force pulling dogs towards me at all times. Yes I was missing my pooches during this little 2 day getaway and maybe the dogs of Milwaukee were sensing this but still it seemed everywhere I looked there were snouts.
Our hotel (The Iron Horse in case anybody ever visits Milwaukee and needs a cool place to stay) was dog friendly. Part of the reason I picked it even though I had no intention of bringing our 3 setters. Alex and I have driven cross country twice with dogs in tow staying at many a hotel with a hyper dog. We've paid our dues. We wanted a relaxing weekend.
We hit a brewery tour and then Brady Street which is an artsy little section of town with shops and galleries and plenty of dogs prancing about. I felt the need to stop and pet all of them, which my husband thinks is dandy as long as I pass them a business card as then I am actually marketing, which I always feel strange doing. The truth of it is I don't want people to think I am just canoodling with their dog just so I can pitch a collar sale. I'm here to state for the record I would smooch your pooch regardless.
At dinner Saturday we ate in the outdoor lounge at the Iron Horse called The Yard and of coarse I quickly befriended Bruno the Bassett Hound who was conveniently sitting at the next table over. Bruno was soon rolling on his back for tummy rubs and giving me sad hound dog eyes when my entree arrived as he was apparently in the early stages of starvation based on his pathetic expression. I was chatting with his Dogmom and DogDad and my husband ever the salesperson was whispering to me "give them a business card already!" So as we finished dinner and left our table I boldly went over and handed out my card and could see the people looking at each other suspiciously like I was a Used Car Salesman - so I blurted out "Email me and I'll send a free collar to Bruno!" So this is my new shtick, if I ogle your dog in a public I may offer a free collar up. It takes away the stigma that I just adoring the dog for sake of marketing my business. I know, I know...I am the world's worst salesperson.
Sunday we had brunch in the Third Ward District of Milwaukee and it was dog heaven, lots of happy pups strutting around. I redeemed myself with Alex a bit by stopping in a dog boutique and legitimately pitching Lucky Fiona. Otherwise it was collar-palooza as I offered up freebies to every set of paws that wiggled it's butt. I don't think Alex is going to take me out of town again for awhile.

Monday, August 3, 2009

This Week's Friend of Fiona is...The Crazy Dog!

Fiona loves it when you send your pictures in for her weekly "Official Friend of Fiona" contest. But she has a special request...please let us know your dog's name so we can honor them accordingly! This dog was identified as "The Crazy Dog" Now we know labradors can sometimes be a little "spirited" perhaps a wee bit rambunctious...but surely not all out crazy? We invite The Crazy Dog's Dogmom to contact us with her pick of a free custom collar and also to let us know this wonderful dog's name!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

This thing is literally the sh*t...

Sometimes the silliest thing in the world can make you laugh. I'm not one for gross-out humor, but when my pal Jill sent me a care package of dog toys that included this little gem I bust out cackling. Mr. Poops story on the back of the package was even funnier. Since his inclusion in the setter dog toy bin, he has been deemed a favorite. Dugan loves to run around squeeking and flipping Mr.Poops in the air. Which makes me laugh. Hell, just saying "Mr. Poops" makes me giggle. Seeing Mr. Poops in the middle of the living room floor at 6:00a.m. when you are bleery eyed is not as funny, until you sigh with relief it is not the real thing, but simply Mr. Poops. I especially love the packing has a disclaimer to not flush Mr. Poops down the toilet. I suggest if you are in need of some humor in your life picking up your dog his or her own Mr. Poops today.

Back of packaging:

Abandoned at birth, Mr. Poops could not understand why no one would want him. Alone, in the hot sun, he was left to dry out with no hope of survival. With each passing dog he hoped that he would not be so dried out that no one would recognize him as they sniffed looking to find their own family. Good fortune fell upon Mr. Poops when a rain storm washed him into a storm drain where we was able to float his way to a store near you. Please adopt Mr. Poops and give him the family he deserves. Reunite him with a dog that wants to put Mr. Poops in their mouth and squeak him with the unconditional love only a dog could provide.
Mr. Poops is approximately 10" tall and 2" in diameter
This is a novelty toy. Do not let your pet play with this toy unsupervised, and do not allow your pet to remove or ingest any part of the toy including the squeakers. This toy is not intended for children. Do not place in or flush down toilet, backup may result.