Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wackadoodle Dog Guardians Unite!

The problem when you work with animals professionally is that people assume that your own animal companions are perfectly trained, fed, groomed and are the Emily Post's of the canine world when it comes to manners. I'm outing myself to the world right now that my dog's are far from model citizens. I rescue and share my life with setters, it takes a special (some may say crazy) type of animal guardian to live with this breed. But those who know them love them, not in spite of, but because of the fact they are a little wackadoodle. Okay... a lot wackadoodle.
I've worn many hats in the animal world, vet technician, professional pet sitter, animal therapist, head bitch of a collar company. I know dogs and I know mine are nutso. This is one of the great ironies in my life that I can quote you tried and true positive reinforcement training techniques with much detail and bravado but my own dogs ignore our recall command at the dog park. I stand there in dark sunglasses and a floppy hat hoping not to get recognized by a client as I fruitlessly try to get my setters who have picked up 850 individual scents of critters to return to me. I uselessly call out our specially trained recall phrase which works fantastically when practiced from our kitchen to our living room at home. Fiona and Caelan respond by running deeper into the tall brush and acting like they've never seen that crazy lady with the big sunglasses before in their lives.
But I keep the illusion going strong that I actually know something about dogs and have control over my own. Friends, family, clients...they all call and email me for advice on all things dog and I keep shoveling out the knowledge. I can teach your dog how to perfectly sit stay and walk on the leash without pulling. I am magical and you are all so thankful for my insight and experience on what works with dogs! But deep in the underbelly of my life I have a dirty little secret. My own Dugan is a twirling dervish the first 5 minutes you put a leash on him. Has been for 8 years of me reinforcing training techniques with him. I've read the books, I've taken the classes, I've logged the time. I've been to trainers, vet behaviorists and holistic flower essence healers. I've spent more money on no-pull harness, leashes and head halters than I care to admit (plus my husband reads this) The dog still spins the first 5 minutes. It's the wackadoodle factor.
Today I took the girls to the groomer and hooked them in their seat belts in the backseat of my car. Somehow in the 15 minute drive they managed to tangle themselves in such a mess that it took me 20 minutes to unhook them to bring them inside the groom shop. The seatbelts were all wound around one another like one of those Amish rope puzzles, except this was not fun or quaint in any way. Caelan had a piece of Hubba Bubba in her mouth found under a seat (note I do not chew gum but my husband does) and Fiona's collar was off and jammed into one of the seat belt clasps so tightly I considered cutting it with a Swiss Army knife to free it. It was 14 degrees this morning in Chicago and I was sweating like a whore in church just getting my dogs out of the car. So I did what any respected animal professional would do...I walked into the groom shop calmly with my dogs like I was the revered alpha of my pack and alluded to my groomer that the sweat was due to an early morning work out.
Life is too short for perfect dogs. I'll take mine like the rest of my life...silly and a mess. Perhaps someday my dogs will be as perfect as I preach, but until then I'll just love my wackadoodles.

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