Friday, June 24, 2011

Please stop talking...

Years ago I had a mentor who was the lead technician of an animal hospital I worked at. She taught me a lot and was just one of those sponges of animal information who took great pride in knowing every current vet med protocol. While I owe Tamara a debt of gratitude for the many things I learned under her tutelage, the wisest thing she may have ever taught me was the following: "Don't ever mention at any social gathering you work for a veterinarian or with animals in general. You'll spend your whole evening wanting to slap people." 
Oh how this has rung true over the years. 
People are well meaning, they really are. But I'm sure many of you animal centered folks reading this can relate to people out there that try to relate to you by sharing heart-warming animal stories that they think are charming but really make your skin crawl. Who hasn't been at a party where somebody glues themselves to you looking for free advice about their animal companion over stupidly basic concepts? Furthermore, these morons always turn out to be somebody you have to bite your tongue with. Like your bosses' husband who sits with you at a charity animal adoption event and tells you in a hushed whisper "he would never ever adopt because you don't know what you're going to get with these shelter animals." Sure you can smile and through clenched teeth try to educate this person, but they aren't listening you. They're already telling you the story of Mopsy the poodle they purchased at a pet shop for $3000 who had behavioral issues and had to go to that "big farm in the sky". 
I love when people get breed specific too. I don't care what your chosen breed is, everybody once knew one in childhood that was horrible. I've heard this about my Irish Setters through the years like clockwork. Everybody has an uncle or cousin with an uncontrollable and mentally deranged setter that lived to be 28 years old back in 1948. I've also heard through the years the story of the family Irish Setter that they purchase and let loose to run upon arrival home and then fawn over how gorgeous the setter is running and then realize the setter has just taken off into the hillside forevermore. I always politely nod like I'm relating to the story but inevitably I feel the need to tell people to shut the hell up because that story is a plot line from the 1988 Chevy Chase film Funny Farm and not an anecdote of their life.
You think you can escape the insanity with your own family, because surely they understand your life working with animals, but I have found some of the worst offenders here. I've literally had a small stroke as my husband's Aunt (laughingly mind you) shared the sweet, sweet tale of the dog her kids brought home that she grew so tired of it's antics she opened the door and just let it loose so it would go away. I sat there glazed eyed thinking this is a nightmare of a tale, not a fun story we can bond over! 
I also love the well meaning questions you legitimately answer with rock solid veterinary scientific proof that gets brushed off. Like my Uncle who asked me why his son's unaltered adult male dogs lift their legs to urinate on everything and hump every leg that comes within reach and fight with each other. I explained 6 ways to Sunday how they should have been neutered early on to help curb these behaviors and I might as well have been speaking Greek. Another dinner party where I wanted to get slap happy. 
I find there is no escape. The shampoo girl at the salon asks you what you do for a living and the next thing you know your wanting to scream as you hear the story of Dozer the bulldog she left outside one summer day who died for "no reason!It was so funny!" Oh, and ironically it happened to be 92 degrees out that day and she left Dozer on a tie out with no shade. Not really funny, no. Tragic and sad? Yes.
How about the grocery check out lady who comments upon seeing you purchase butcher bones that she loves dogs too and "breeds them all the time if you are interested in puppies!" Gee, no thanks since I support rescue and have a concept of what backyard breeders are idiot. Or the neighbor who has a cat they want you to mystically heal because "you work with animals!" The cat is 16 and never been to the vet and can't eat because it's mouth is full of absesses the neighbors have ignored for a long time. They can't afford a vet mind you, but just bought a new RV and now want you to wave a magical wand and fix Toonces because I'm so good with animals! Hooray! 
I realize the wisdom now more than ever in my mentor's advice. From now on I'm going to tell people I'm in real estate, or telemarketing or Tupperware sales. They all seem like nice safe careers that won't cause me to cry or sever my tongue when you speak to me. Sigh.
 ~ The Head Bitch

1 comment:

  1. OMG!! This is all too true. Sometimes I don't know whether I should bite my tongue or lay in to people.

    As an animal rescuer I hear these horror stories that others find funny....

    I feel your pain over and over and over again sista.

    ReplyDelete