What Happens with Dog-Grandmom Stays with Dog-Grandmom

My dogs are sad. Not because summer is ending or because Obama has not solved our National Healthcare issues. They are sad because my Mother-in-Law left.

My in-laws were here in Chicagoland visiting from New York the past week. It was a delightful visit since it's been a few years since they have visited us since we get back to New York a few times a year. It's always a happy time to have family close when you are Midwest transplants like Alex and I.

Our joy in having family near and dear to us under one roof was overshadowed by the immense joy the setters felt. Yes, they very quickly decided that Renate, my Mother-in-law was the most fantastic person ever. You see "Omi" (as her two legged grandchildren call her) fed my dogs anything and everything their little hearts desired. It took my dogs exactly 2.4 seconds to realize that Omi was the equivalent of winning the food lottery and henceforth they stuck to her like velcro and looked at her with adoring eyes wherever she went. My holistic-grain-free-antibiotic-hormone-free-raw-diet feeding regimen was all but a memory when their Doggie-Grandmom started handing out cold cuts and potato chips to 3 very happy setters.

I thought I could control the situation by having baby carrots in the fridge and healthy grain free biscuits on hand. However, giving Omi an option of opening the refrigerator to retrieve baby carrots was just an invitation for her to see what else the dogs may like from the fridge. When a cookie jar of biscuits dissipated in one day and two new treat boxes appeared I attempted an intervention. "Are you breaking the cookies into pieces?" I asked. This was met with a bewildered look and an explanation that "the dogs like to eat one whole biscuit at a time" When I pointed out that a jar of biscuits usually lasts weeks as I break the biscuits into 3 parts before handing them out I was told again with the shake of a head and a "tsk,tsk" my three dogs prefer to eat their cookies whole. Fiona, Dugan and Caelan stood behind my Mother-in-law nodding in agreement as if I lost my mind suggesting otherwise and I better get on board with the new protocol.

Like most Mama's-boys my husband was of no help to me whatsoever. Since his Mommy was making him some of his favorite foods he too was lost in the food-trance and looked at her with the same soft expression and drool hanging from his mouth that the dogs had. He did step up and stop her when she fed them grapes, which we all know are toxic to dogs. This gave me a mild heart attack when I was told the story after the fact and forced me to go over with her things in the fridge & pantry that could kill the dogs. My Mother-in-Law just chuckled like I was a silly overprotective hen and told me a story of when her dog ate a bowl of chocolate in 1986 and was just fine. Sigh.

One early morning while my husband and father-in-law were out golfing I awoke to eerie silence. I scanned my bedroom through bleary eyes and noticed I was completely alone, I patted the bed covers and no furred children were burrowed around me. This was alarming as dogs and cats alike usually lounge in bed with me in the morning. I then heard the clang of a pot downstairs in the kitchen and quickly realized I was left high and dry because Omi was downstairs cooking. Yes, the gravy-train known as Omi made all my loyal companions completely abandon me.

As I entered the kitchen that morning Omi was full of exciting information about my very own dogs that I might find useful. Like for instance did I know that Dugan likes mayonnaise? Fiona does not like celery but all three dogs enjoy pasta.

This went on pretty much all week. My Mother-in-Law would be amazed at what my dogs would actually eat and the dogs followed her from room to room like they were in a trance. She gave them delicious things and achieved Sainthood in their eyes while I poopy-scooped doo-doo mounds out in the yard that were 4 times the normal size and multi-colored.

On Wednesday my Mother-in-Law announced the following incredible realization to me with a straight face "Gee, your dogs will eat just about anything!" This exciting discovery was the culmination of hours of scientific research in which she would feed my dogs anything she was eating or preparing. "Uh..Yea!" I said in sound defeat "They will."

So now Omi is back in NY and 3 forlorn setters remain staring out the front window in disbelief she is gone. We are back to regular feedings and I am getting evil glances when I do not share the contents of my leftovers on my plate. Caelan - a dog that used to live for baby carrots, now snubs them as Omi has opened her up to the world of other foods that live in the fridge. The silver lining to all this is the In-Laws probably wont visit again for another year...plenty of time to re-program my dear dogs. And perhaps win their love with a few licks of my ice cream bowl.