When you think you're Pregnant with a New Rescue Dog

It all started this weekend with a queasy feeling when I read an email from Ohio English Setter Rescue's Head Bitch Susan England. She innocently sent a picture of a new foster she put a Lucky Fiona collar on. A picture of Lily - a young female English Setter was accompanied by her story. She was pulled from a high kill shelter in Kentucky, she is skin and bones, barely 30 pounds full grown and she relishes human contact. She is a quiet little lady with a soulful look about her who just wants to be near a kind hand to pet her. The vet said it looks like she had a litter already at her young age and no Baby Daddy in sight. Her eyes were golden and they stayed with me hours after I saw her photo.
Could I be pregnant with another rescue dog?
I quickly counted the days since my last rescue and was surprised to see it had been awhile. My first reaction of coarse was "I can't possibly!" and I went on with my daily routine. Then the queasy feeling returned and I looked at her picture... three more times.
My frame of mind went from casually brushing off the notion of adopting another dog to thinking "well why the heck not? Why not us - we're dang good dog people!" A check list quickly formed in my mind as I played a ping-pong match of pros and cons. My head volleyed between the serene vision of providing a loving forever home to Lily complete with Christmas card photos, birthday cakes and snuggles as we napped in the summer sun to mass chaos as dogs and cats alike bounce off the walls in mass hysteria hating me for messing with the balance of animals already in place. It was dizzying.
I realized upon waking up at 2:00 a.m. Saturday night thinking of Lily that I might already be in the first trimester of adopting. I got up and went to my studio and looked at her pictures again. Was she calling to me? Why was I feeling this way? If animal companions truly choose us then who am I to ignore this? In my line of work I hear about and see animals in need of homes daily. I didn't feel this way about any of them. Why was my heart pulling for Lily?
It became obvious I had to take the next logical step and tell my husband we may possibly be expecting another set of paws.
This was met with nervous laughter and a long stare the following day along with "How did this happen?"
I told him her story, we went over the pros and cons in detail, he told me I was crazy. He reminded me of the recession and sagging collar sales, shedding, food costs, vet bills and the fact she was 6 hours away in Ohio. He told me we could do a fundraiser for Lily's rescue group and help her that way. He gave me the "you can't save them all speech" Slowly I could see the initial shock wearing off...then he said the magic words. "If you truly feel this in your heart, we can try to do the right thing for her." This is why I married this man.
So I filled out the application. I have talked to her foster Mom. I realize that there is another person interested in her that may offer a better home/situation for her and I may have to live with that.
Now like any other expectant family...we wait.
I told the other dogs we may have another family member coming and ask how they feel about it. I ask for us all to keep our hearts open -and remind myself the most. I'm nauseous and nervous and have butterflies over the future of this creature and the impact we could have on each other. I question how I could fall in love with her already over the mere notion of her coming to live with us. She'll spend another week in foster care for assessment and let her guardians decide her best future.
I tell myself I'll be happy if they choose us or not - because I know either way she will be loved. Selfishly I want her to be ours.
Yes, I am knocked up with the prospect of a new set of paws to adore. Sigh.

For more information on available setters waiting for homes: www.englishsetterrescue.org