Teddy & Lily in happier times...
A Letter to Teddy - The Tiger Woods of the Dog Park ~
Dear Teddy,
I thought our time together in upstate New York at your country house was special. Remember when we both gazed at each other next to the crackling fire near your favorite spot next to the wood stove? How about when I let you steal my marrow bone without even an ounce of anger? Did it mean nothing to you Ted? I thought I was somebody special Ted Williams Jr.! I'll have you know that I just don't sleep over other dog's houses on the first visit like I did with you! I'm a lady...and you sir are a tramp!
Today I received a very troubling email and photograph from your "other" girlfriend outing your relationship. I'm sure you'll recognize her snout. While she is very pretty Teddy, the news of Cara's existence has been quite a blow. I really thought we were going to try to make this long-distance commitment thing work? Apparently I am but a fool, one of many pretty ladies who keep your company! Did you think I wouldn't find out? I mean for the love of tennis balls Teddy...she's wearing a Lucky Fiona collar! (and although it is hard to say out loud she does look lovely in "The Veronica" in the 1.5 width, the colors are fabulous on her coat, sob,sob, sob.)
Cara - Teddy's NYC Gal-Pal
Cara - Teddy's NYC Gal-PalI thought our time together in upstate New York at your country house was special. Remember when we both gazed at each other next to the crackling fire near your favorite spot next to the wood stove? How about when I let you steal my marrow bone without even an ounce of anger? Did it mean nothing to you Ted? I thought I was somebody special Ted Williams Jr.! I'll have you know that I just don't sleep over other dog's houses on the first visit like I did with you! I'm a lady...and you sir are a tramp!
I should have known never to get mixed up with a Rhodesian three times my size. Fiona told me it would never work out, but I lost my head over your strong shoulders and unparalleled fashion sense. Was I just a weekend holiday fling? I'm just a Silly Lily I suppose and another notch on your wicker lounge bench. Next thing you'll be telling me that Lola (the pretty black furred girl who came over right as I was leaving that Sunday morning) wasn't a relative. She was a cousin of yours, right? What? She was adopted? Oh no, I am a fool!
Signed -
Lillian Piper Rose (a.k.a. Lily)
I'm am howling laughing at my desk!! I need to tell Dan (Cara's Dad) about this one! : )
ReplyDeleteTeddy is a tramp for sure. I will scold him when I get home. I sure as heck didn't raise him that way!!
Jennifer (Teddy's ashamed dogmom)
I am rolling on the floor laughing. A true classic.
ReplyDeletePoor Lily! She should find a nice quiet setter boy and settle down. The big bad boys always break your heart!!
Love,
Auntie Susan
Oh Lilly-- My heart goes out to you. How dare that two-timing-Teddy break your heart. He doesn't know what he is missing. It's his loss, not yours. Let's find you a nice little terrier with a beard for you to settle down with. Someone close to home-- those long distance relationships never work anyway. I'll keep my ears open at the dog park for someone good for you.
ReplyDeleteLove, EZ pass