Henri

When I 22 and living in my very first apartment on my own in New York I had a dream one night. I dreamt of a kitten. He was black and white like a Holstein cow and named Henry Hooligan. I had been thinking a lot about having a cat in my waking hours because the only thing I truly missed about living at home was the dog and coming home to my empty apartment at night with nobody to greet me was more than I could bear. I thought the dream was a sign so I was on a mission to find my Henry Hooligan.

Two days later I read an article at work in the local paper about a woman in Beacon, New York who was about to have her home inspected for the final time by local animal control. She had hundreds of cats and several warnings and was one of those crazy cat ladies we've all heard of with good intentions but not enough resources. The article related that many of the cats would be euthanized as there simply was not enough room for them all at animal control including the many litters of kittens present. I knew my Henry Hooligan would be there.

So with my good pal Jill Smith in tow we were off with sketchy directions to find this cat mecca. I will never forget driving up a street and not seeing any street numbers on any of the houses or mailboxes. We drove up to a brown shuttered house that was alive with paws. There were cats on the front stoop, cats under the car in the driveway, cats in the window boxes and cats racing from one side of the yard to another. Jill with an absolute deadpan look upon her face said "Do you think this is the place?"

I was pretty sure it was.

Inside were more and more cats, on counters, in drawers, on the couch and everywhere in between. I asked about kittens and the Crazy Cat Lady related she had them in calico, tiger striped, orange and grey. I asked if she had any black and white cats and she said "Why yes! There is a litter of tuxedo cats here." My heart beat a little faster. Then she thrust a tan and grey kitten at me and said "You want one from this litter - they are polydactyl! Very unusual and lucky - they are cats with 6 toes like Hemingway's cats in Key West!" As adorable as the little big pawed bugger was my eye wandered for Henry Hooligan. I could not be swayed.

It was then I saw a little black and white kitten with green eyes darting across the room. It was the cat from my dream. I yelled to Jill "That's the one - grab him!" and like the true friend that she is she dove under a large piece of heavy furniture in this filthy cat covered house and fished out my Henry. Jill handed him to The Crazy Cat Lady who lifted the little kitten's tail and proclaimed "It's boy and he's about 5 weeks old"

I found my kitten.

Like most young twenty somethings I had no business getting a cat that tiny and had no idea what I was doing. But I was in love with this little fur ball who purred like a motor. I bought him a blue collar and blue toys and a litter box. I grew up with dogs and always considered myself a dog person, but I loved this cat at first sight.

Being slightly scarred by the Crazy Cat Lady's house and cat overpopulation I thought after having Henry for a few weeks I better find out about shots and getting him fixed. It was at this first vet appointment I learned the hard truth that Henry was a girl. For those of you who think I was pretty stupid to not figure that out previously I remind you I was 22 and living on my own. My life was filled with parties and bars and boys and clothes and drinking. Gender identification of very young cats was not part of my day to day routine. Besides, it is hard to tell when they are that young, that's my story and I am sticking to it.

So my Henry became Henri. She already knew her name after 2 weeks so I didn't have the heart to change it. Now we had a fun story to tell about her unusual name and I couldn't stray from the dream I had. Henri was my baby. She used her first life up in kittenhood by pushing the accordion insert out of the window next to the air conditioner and falling out the 3rd story window. To this day I have no idea how she did it unscathed.

That was the beginning. I married a short while after that and Alex fell in love with my Henri too. It was a bit of a thorn in my side that she adored him after it had been just her and I starting out, but it was good foreshadowing for my future. It seems every animal I rescue loves Alex best. Oh well.

So Alex moved Henri and I to Georgia with his naval career and she became a southern belle. For the first time she could go outside and she loved it! I was a nervous wreck of coarse, but Alex had no fears and neither did Henri. We introduced our lab puppy Fergus to the mix and Henri took her new brother in stride and put him in his place when need be. It was such happiness the first time they slept on the couch together, our happy little pawed family. About 8 hot months into our Georgia adventure Alex went out to sea and I decided to head to New York for a few months to stay with family. My Mother-in-law was okay with a lab puppy coming to stay (saintly, right?) but Henri would stay with my sister Beth across town so I wouldn't wear out my welcome or annoy my Mother-in-law's sensitive cat. My first separation with Henri wasn't so bad - I saw her on the weekends and my sister quickly fell in love with her. Her second life was used up after she was attacked by a coyote under my sister's watch, again without major injury. Henri was returned to me after the time back in NY with a beautiful pearl and rhinestone collar which my sister was sure made her feel very feminine since I had given her "that awful boy's name". I reminded her a prissy cat wouldn't have taken on the coyote like a girl named "Henri" would so it wasn't such a bad name after all.

Alex returned to land and got orders to head to Washington state to the submarine base there. So we packed my car up and headed from New York to Georgia and then cross country with Fergus and Henri in the back seat. Ahhh, young and naive and in love. Let's drive for 2 weeks with an adolescent labrador and a cat in the car, no problem! Truth be told Henri was a doll, she quickly adapted to sleeping all day in the car and using litter and eating at the hotels in the evening. We couldn't ask for more.

Life in the Seattle region was heavenly. Henri loved our house and yard. Her 3rd, 4th and 5th lives were used up as she got in rows with a neighborhood cat and subsequently had her tail get infected from a bite which lead to an amputation. The stub seemed to bother us more than her and she was as graceful as ever without a tail. We often told people she was a rare breed Africanian black and white bobcat to explain the lack of tail.

I'll never forget while working in medical sales in Washington saving a mouse one day from being "exterminated" by one of the receiving guys out on the loading dock. I kept the mouse in a bucket under my desk and was made fun of all day by co-workers. I boasted how I would set the poor creature free in the wooded area behind my house and give him a chance at life! I carefully drove the mouse home, talking to it the whole way. I drove down the back alley behind my house and set the bucket down at the edge of the shrubline and said "Be Free Little Mousie!"

I hadn't realized my husband was home previous and had let Henri out.

Like a flash Henri darted from her perch on top of one of the fence posts and pounced on my mouse in the 2 seconds it attempted to scamper to freedom. Instead of freeing the poor thing I had literally fed him to the lion. I never did tell my co-workers his fate.
Henri accepted another rescue dog in her life out in Seattle. Seamus our first Irish Setter and her had a special bond. They would sit and stare at each other for hours. These stare-offs would often result in one or both of them falling asleep facing each other. They liked being around each other it seemed and I was all too happy to have dogs and cats who got along.

So in love with my animals I made a career change and started working at a vet office. One of the perks was free health care so I brought Henri in often for shots, dental cleanings, etc. I'll never forget working at the front desk one day and hearing a ruckus in the back with metal trays clanging, people yelling and what sounded like a banshee squeeling. I chuckled and thought I was happy not be in the back dealing with somebody's ill behaved pet. A second later the intercom buzzed "Umm, Shannon? Can you come and get Henri off the top of the cabinets? She tried to kill us when we went to trim her nails."

A move to the Midwest landed Henri on an extended vacation in New York again as we lived in a rental that did not allow more than 2 animals and we had 2 large dogs. She wrapped my sister-in-law around her little paw and would sleep with Roxanna every night. I couldn't have asked for better Kitty-sitters, but I missed my Henri.

Upon our lease ending and Alex and I purchasing our first house in the Chicago region we were happy to go to New York for the holidays and retrieve Henri. Finally we had her home and were staying put for awhile.

Through the years we rescued more critters and always acknowledged Henri as the matriarch. She adapted to ever change with grace and good nature. She was a great teacher and Mother to Bridget the shelter rescue cat we lost at just 2 years of age to cancer. She accepted crazy Dugan the setter as he rocked our world and then Caelan as a 12 week old puppy who never saw a cat before. She was here when we said goodbye to Fergus and then 6 months later her buddy Seamus. She acted like Fiona was just another dog who's tail she could swat and she tolerated Brody the kitten, but didn't befriend her as we had hoped. Last year we rescued Sully and Henri seemed genuinely pleased somebody else was around to amuse Brody so she alone was not responsbile for the task! Finally she could relax and take her place as Queen.

Which brings us to the last 6 months and my love for Henri. For 15 years she had been part of my life and family. She was the first born so to speak and I always assumed she would live forever. By my count she still had at least 4 lives left of the orignal 9 so I had no reason to worry. But little things changed, some unexplained blood, some inconconclusive tests, her daily routine was off. She didn't want to be held or even lay in the sunshine anymore. She was losing weight rapidly. The vet could only suggest exploratory surgery to see what he couldn't see otherwise, but I just couldn't bear to put her under to cut her open to see what I knew in my heart was happening. I didn't want her last moments to be on an operating table.

Two nights ago I had a dream that her and I were on ice and I couldn't catch her, she just kept sliding further away from me.

I agonized yesterday as I watched her not eat her breakfast. She was leaning on things to support herself when upright. I tried to hold her and she seemed too uncomfortable to tolerate my embrace. I looked into those green eyes and she looked deep into mine and for a moment there was no question. I felt "Let me go."

It doesn't matter how right you know the decision is, you will always question if you are doing the right thing. I could look at it from every angle and know what had to be done. It was still the most difficult phone call to the vet I've ever made.

Alex took the day off from work today and we spent time with Henri and talked about her life with us and all the joy she has brought. "She was always such a good girl" we echoed to one another. It's funny how on the final day of your animal companion's life you never remember any bad. I know there must have been something she was naughty about...but my mind could think of nothing as I watched her so closely today.

Alex reminded me over and over this was the right thing to do for her. At 4:00p.m. we stood together at the vet to say goodbye. I held her and thanked her for all she has done for us. She didn't fight my embrace and she was purring that familiar purr as she drifted away. This was the best way to honor her life and all the love she has given so many, to let her go peacefully, without pain...purring in my arms.

Henri was the connection I had for all the phases in my life the past 15 years. She dutifully adapted to all the changes and gave me much more than I ever could have given her. A part of my heart aches tonight - bruised from feeling hers stop and knowing we can't be together anymore in this world. I'm holding very tightly onto the sound of her purr as left this world and how any cat would wish to leave in that way. I hope she knows how much we love her and how very missed she will be and how she can visit me in my dreams anytime.