Friday, February 5, 2016

What happens when a cat steals a cellphone...

The Basics
Dog's Name: Isabel the cat
Dog's Gender: female
Dog's Breed: bearcat
Name of Guardian: I guard myself (and also my hooman: Sara)
Guardian's email address: on file
Where was dog born: The Holy Lands of Wisconsin
Where does dog reside now:  Milwaukee
Rescue? What organization: yes. I saved myself. by being cute. 

About You
What everybody notices first about you: my petite figure. I basically never grew out of bearkitten size. I am pretty much like one of those really cute baby goats that are running amok on the Internet these days. But don't try to put a sweater on me. I will cut you. The point is, I'm little. 

Do you win others over with looks or personality, explain: by sheer force of my own will. 

One word starting with "P" to describe you: purrrfect (heh, heh)

Favorite thing to bark like a maniac at : puh-lease. Barking is so pedestrian. I growl. Like a real catdog. At whatever I want. Whenever I want. 

Favorite person: the one petting me

Favorite other animal: that dogdog that I let live here; the big black & white one. I can't be bothered with names. Anyway, I loooove to tormen... I mean... play with her. By play I mean run up to her and swat her nose and then be gone before she can even react. And if she chases me? Heh, heh. Then I use my mad parkour skills and ninja myself somewhere she can see me but can't reach me. Like the top of the fridge. Heh, heh. 

Favorite human food: any sort of unguarded protein. I'm a carnivore. 

What human celebrity would play you in a Lifetime movie: Tiffani-Amber Thiessen

Favorite Lucky Fiona collar and why: The Bearcat. Because it was named after me, even if Shannon didn't know it. And because that dogdog that I let live here has it too. She hates when someone has the same collar she does. Heh, heh. 

What Dog is Looking for in Perfect Match
Male? Female? Open?: I don't believe in labels

Are you a serial dater or looking to settle down? And limit myself to just one partner? No way. Polyamory all the way. 

Zero tolerance for this in another dog: stealing my food or eating my poop

What kind of kisser are you: the lick-your-nose-first type

Favorite place to snuggle: the head of the nearest hooman. or their laptop. Same idea. 

First love: Snowball (so what if it was a dog toy. I refuse to be limited by your antiquated definition of "cat.")

What does the term "love" mean to you?  The usual stuff: darting through open doors, yowling at closed doors, napping in sunbeams, catnip, canned tuna, me purring.

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